Day 1 of the 1460 days of drinking: “Orange is NOT the New Black”
After 1460 days in office, out walks a seriously cool guy. He’s not cool just because he’s black … actually, that’s not true. Much of his cool comes from how he’s handled himself and what he’s achieved in a country that apparently still judges based on colour. It’s only been over the last 4 months that I’ve gained an appreciation for the man who left the office of President in a better place than when he adopted it. Eight years ago, I thought “This is great. America has elected a black guy to run the country. I guess being black in America isn’t nearly as difficult as I thought”. Based on the recent rise in hate crimes, boy was I wrong. I can’t say I agree with everything he stood for. But everything he proposed had to run through a largely Republican approval process which was then amended to appease them. No free rides. No easy wins. Nothing the way he architected it.
Cool is grace under fire. Cool is getting knocked down, then jumping back on your feet, saying “is that the best you got? “ Cool is having to be that much better and work harder than the white guys … just because. Obama handled himself with grace, honesty and compassion. I’m sure 8 years of walking through quicksand took its toll on him but you would never know it. No angry tweets calling out his critics, no mocking of people who challenged what he said – a class act for eight years. Questions about his character do not exist. Everything about this is cool.
In walks the new president of colour. This guy is orange. I have nothing against orange people as I don’t know any orange people. Frankly, I didn’t know they existed. I don’t think I’m racist but I’m really not liking this orange guy. So far, this guy seems like the exact opposite of cool. Whether it’s the sexual assaults, racist remarks, the mocking of a disabled reporter or the constant denial of fact, he just isn’t cool. However, I am learning a lot from him in his less than 48 hours in office. For example, there’s this great new thing called “alternate facts”. That’s right. He invented that today. We’re not supposed to believe our own eyes. Noooo. Instead we’re supposed to believe the alternate facts as presented by his inner circle (which is kind of like an alternate version of the ethical and highly educated inner circle that just left Washington).
Apparently he drew the largest crowd ever for his inauguration. This came courtesy of his Press Secretary earlier today. With our own eyes, we’ve all seen the photos of Friday’s crowd compared to the cool President’s inauguration. There was no contest. Cool president smoked him. But wait, they’re offering up Alternate Facts that would tell us otherwise. I’m really going to miss Truth Classic; at least we knew where we stood. Sure this alternate fact thing will come in handy in day to day life like “No officer, I’m not drunk; I’m alternate sober”. “No boss, I wasn’t late; I was actually alternate early” “Yes honey, your hair looks alternate awesome”.
Enough about the alternate cool orange president. Today we’re celebrating Obama. Apparently his favourite drink is a forest berry ice tea. “Orange is NOT the New Black” is a black tea based cocktail. Cold black tea is laced with Absolut Wild Tea vodka, Chambord (that’s the berry flavour) and an insignificant amount of orange liqueur. The orange flavour really had little effect on the overall drink as the drink was dominated by the bigly black flavours. Here’s hoping that the next four years will quietly blend into the background and history will prove them to be insignificant.
As tempting as it may seem, no we’re not creating a drink for every day Orange President is in power. I really don’t think he’s worth the destruction of my liver. Alternate facts will not replace cool and orange is not the new black.